


Sometimes These Things Just Fall Through

by QueerlyCute



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Depressed!Dan, M/M, Suicide, im so sorry, phil gets married, sherlock inspired, this was better in my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueerlyCute/pseuds/QueerlyCute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As hate becomes more common tensions build between Dan and Phil. Their relationship crumbles, but only half of Phan can successfully move on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>aka I re-watched Sherlock and became an emotional mess. I apologize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes These Things Just Fall Through

Phil sighed as he looked himself up and down. Today was the day he was leaving the entire life he built and he knew it. He picked up his suitcase and walked towards to the door, stopping when he saw Dan leaning on the doorway to the lounge, holding a cup of coffee in his sweater-paws.  
"You still don’t have to do this, you know? We could pretend it didn't happen, go back to being Dan and Phil, the best friend slash power couple of YouTube." He smiled slightly at Phil, hoping to be able to change his mind finally.   
"You know I can't, Dan. All eras end eventually, I just wish it didn't have to end like this." He saw the tears welling in his chocolate brown eyes.   
"So this is it, huh? All of the cat whiskers and gaming videos, everything we built up together all to be torn down by some shitty comments?" Dan looked absolutely deflated, but Phil knew this was the only option.   
"They aren't just some comments, Dan. They got between you and me, they made us fight and argue to the point where we have to..." He couldn't say the words again. Divorce. He hated this, more than anything, but lately he and Dan had had so many contradictory opinions and arguments, it was at the point where they couldn't discuss what to have for dinner without it ending in screaming matches. It had started when Dan mentioned offhand that he knew coming out was a bad idea, not thinking he thought would ruin their marriage, but, ultimately, that’s what had happened. “If some ransoms on YouTube can make us fight, what really are we? What is there to base our relationship on?”

He found himself staring into the eyes that used to hold so much joy and love, seeing only pity and regret. They collided in a tight embrace, knowing it could quite possibly be their last. Phil tenderly placed a kiss on the brown-haired boy’s lips before picking up his suitcase again.   
"I'll miss you, Daniel Howell."  
"As will I, Phillip Lester."

~~~

The door closed.   
Footsteps walked away.   
Dan ran to his room, totally forgetting the episode of Tokyo Ghoul he was enjoying, slammed the door and collapsed, sobbing into his pillow. 

He was on the left side of the bed, yet it hadn't smelt of Phil's familiar musky aroma in months. 

~~~

All PINOF's were privated, as were most of the Dan&PhilGAMES videos.   
No full explication was given to why Phil was filming in a new environment, or why Dan hadn't posted in over a year and a half.   
Until, that is, they both posted very different videos. 

'Big News (?) | AmazingPhil'

"Hey guys! So today I'm here to talk about a kind of serious topic.   
You probably noticed that my videos haven't been in the same place recently, well the truth is that Dan and I... Well... We ended things between us, over a year ago now, in fact. It was a difficult choice to make, but I promise you it was for the best. That big announcement out of the way, I should probably tell you something else as well." A different man slid into view, with a topknot bun and light stubble.   
"This is Evan. And we have even together for about 7 months now. And I'm moving in with him! So look forward to this new sexy face in my vlogs," he giggled and looked over at Evan with clear affection in his eyes. A Love-Eyes Lester gif for sure.  
"That's all for today, sorry it's such a short video, but I felt it was necessary to update you all on my crazy life. Bye!" He waved at the camera before the end screen flashed, offering subscription and his last video, then the screen cut to black. 

'Goodbye Internet. | An Explanation'

"Hello Internet." Dan smiled half-heartedly at the camera, also in a new environment.   
"So you've probably seen Phil's new video, and the title of this one and probably have a few questions. 

First one, because too many people have been asking this, no it's not a prank. Sadly, Phil and I have split. But, it was for the best, and we took this long to tell you because we wanted it to be our past before it became your news." He breathed in shakily before continuing.   
"With that out of the way, I should probably explain the title. After the... Divorce," he said the word like it weighed a thousand pounds on his tongue "I took a break from YouTube. I wanted to get everything together again in my personal life before I talked to you guys again, before I got back into the swing of things. Which was a great idea, but then I never could get back into it. I tried, many times but I don't enjoy making videos anymore, I don't want to edit them or write them and, hey, dreams change so maybe there's something else out there that will make me as happy as this once did. Maybe I'll come back to this one day, too. But for now, I think it's time to say Goodbye Internet." He sighed before turning off the camera. 

"all the best to @amazingphil and @evanthebeaver! take good care of that angel bean for me" Dan sent out his last tweet before Twitter was deactivated. He politely declined most invitations to collaborate after that, only showing his face in YouTube Rewind for 2017, only for a brief second in a montage. He also grew used to avoiding social media at all costs, never knowing what would hurt more, the fact that Phil seemed absolutely overjoyed with his new life or the fact that Dan couldn’t seem to move on. 

~~~

His life was almost sliding back into place after welcoming in 2018, but then it was shaken up once again after receiving an interesting hand-written letter. 

'Dear Dan. 

It's been too long, I wish we still talked. How have you been? I hope you’ve been good. But, alas, a casual chat isn’t the reason I’m writing to you. 

You were, and are, the best friend I ever had, and I’ve yet to replace that hole leaving you left in my life. As I hope you still consider me the way I consider you, I was hoping you could do me a favour. As you know Evan and I have been together for some time now, and I was hoping that you could be my best man. I know, this is probably a horribly awkward thing to ask, but I would absolutely adore it if I could see you again at the most important day of my life. There will be no hard feelings if you decline, but please, do consider it.

Yours still and always, Phil.'

It's the first time Dan had even heard from Phil, and he was asking him to be at his wedding to another man, and be best man no less. But, as much as he could tell this would hurt Dan wasn't about to let Phil down, he could already see the disappointment in his face at that. So, he reluctantly took out his phone and typed in the number he deleted but never forgot and sent his reply. 'This will be painful' Dan thought to himself, but there was no backing out. Even after three years of divorce he loved Phil more than anything else in the world and would do anything for the ebony-haired man. 

~~~

Phil looked in the mirror to straighten his grey tie, but was distracted by the brunette he could see sitting on the bed in the reflection.  
“Crazy, isn’t it?” he said, trying to break the obvious tension.  
“Yeah…” Dan laughed nervously  
“You still don’t have to do this, you know,” he walked over to him and sat on the bed next to him “I wouldn’t be upset or mad. Honestly I hate myself a little for even asking you to do this, it was quite stupid really-”  
“Don’t.” Dan cuts him off “this might not be the most fun I’ve ever had but if it means anything to you, of course I’m going to do it you spork.” ‘Because I still love you more than ever’ he thinks but doesn’t say.  
“Remember when this was us?” he adds, trying to lighten the mood.  
“Like yesterday.” Phil laughs slightly at the memories of Dan wearing his all black tuxedo (of course) and the biggest smile he’d ever seen. The memories of watching him walk towards him with the white rose tucked nicely into his jacket, then watching him nearly face plant on his way up the three half-steps to the alter.  
“Could’ve bloody broken my writ in that stupid church!” Dan laughs, voice free of all malice. He realises too late that they had just been staring at each other before he looks away and gets up. 

“You, uh, ready to go?” he didn’t meet Phil’s eyes.  
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

Dan stood next to Phil during the entire ceremony, remembering how it was once him standing on the other side of the black-haired man. He thanked the gods he was good at acting when they kissed, putting on a smile that could fool anyone. His speech was short and sweet, telling some silly stories of Phil, some serious ones, then ending on a wish of good fortune and a toast to the happy couple. After watching the first dance and half-heartedly flirting with some of the other groomsmen, Dan left the wedding early, unbeknown to anyone else there. He went straight to the first crappy bar he could find, and proceeded to drink away any sorrow he had accumulated over the course of the day.

~~~

 

Two months later he was found at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower, the place where Phil had proposed all those years ago. No note was found, but there was a sharpie in his pocket, and poorly drawn cat whiskers on his lifeless face.

**Author's Note:**

> any feedback? comments and kudos keep me writing ^_^


End file.
